Alright, folks. School is starting for many of us (unless you go to a quarter school, like me, in which case, ha-ha, we still have almost a month of freedom left!). The weather is going to get colder. Halloween will soon be upon us. Cuffing season, better known as Thanksgiving to Valentine’s Day, when it’s pretty much the worst to be alone, is coming. I feel that now is the perfect time for this article, which tells you why you should never, ever, ever, date someone who doesn’t like Disney, in case you started to fear being alone during the couples costumes/Christmas season and became desperate. With that being said, I have a confession to make. I did exactly what I’m telling you not to do…
*horrified screams* *organs playing* *children wailing in terror*
Ah-hem. Onto the story.
I should’ve known my last relationship was doomed before it even began when he claimed he “didn’t like Disneyland” or any of that “fantasy stuff.”
Excuse me? You what? I should’ve run for the hills. Now, everyone in my life has told me at least once that I tend to be dramatic (as if!) but hear me out. You shouldn’t date a guy that doesn’t like Disney because if he doesn’t, what else doesn’t he like? Fairytales? Happiness? Good over evil? The Genie??
Every boy that is #blessed enough to date you should realize that and treat you like a princess. But unfortunately, a boy who doesn’t like Disney probably won’t do that. I’m not saying that I’m not into feminism and equality because I am. But I also love going on dates where the guy pays, having doors opened for me, and doing things more than just going to Chipotle. And honestly, if the guy that you’re seeing thinks Disney is dumb, he’ll probably think that Netflix and chill counts as a date and that “U up?”qualifies as a phone call.
Watching anything else but The Bourne Legacy and The Hangover is just going to be a distant dream. Couples costumes where you’re Jasmine and he’s a shirtless Aladdin? Forget it. Cute couples pictures in front of the castle and the triple-digit likes that come with them? Not gonna happen for you, but you will be passive-aggressively liking your friends’ pictures with their boyfriends while you’re sitting at home alone drinking wine and watching Tangled for the tenth time.
I’m not saying that you need a boyfriend that knows all the lyrics to every single Disney song (even I’m not that good). However, I was at Disneyland for Halloween a couple years ago, and I have to say that the couple’s costumes were on point. There were cute families dressed as the Incredibles, the emotions from Inside Out, and Peter Pan, Tink, Smee, and the crocodile from Peter Pan. They were adorable, but what made me the most jealous were the couples my own age. There were two I remembered above all the rest. One was a really cute couple who decided to Disneybound Peter Pan and Wendy Darling. For those of you who don’t know, Disneybounding is when you dress like a Disney character, land, or attraction using regular clothes instead of costumes. They were total #goals, and I was incredibly jealous. And I told them that. Even cuter than the Disneybounding couple was one whose costumes were so good, my mom and I thought they were Cast Members taking a break. They were dressed in full-on Prince Philip and Sleeping Beauty costumes, including hair, and they were gorgeous. Let me tell you, if your boyfriend doesn’t like Disney, getting him to do that will be impossible. I don’t even want to contemplate the bribery involved.
Trust me; I’ve third wheeled in Disneyland. Take it from me that you do not want to be without your S.O. when your friends have theirs with them. Just trust me. Learn from my mistakes. Don’t date a guy who doesn’t like Disney.
PS: The guy who didn’t like Disney? Broke up with me via email. I know, so 2003. And so unromantic. Ugh.
PPS: Any single boys who are reading this and do like Disney, hi! Feel free to contact me below.